“Gender is our social and legal status as girls and boys, women and
men.”
“Gender identity is how you feel about and express your gender.”
“Culture determines gender roles and what is masculine and feminine.”
Our Society as a whole
has created gender roles that are too strict. The idea of gender is too complex
to be pushed into our unforgiving system; we can’t just simply push boys to one
side and girls to the other. If a child wants to test these boundaries they are
harshly scrutinized, which is cruel and unjust. Our society needs to drop the
authoritarian act and “let kids be kids.” Currently it has built a wall between
boys and girls. The wall needs to be demolished and replaced with a neutral
zone, giving children the opportunity to explore all possibilities. Neutrality is
key.
Presently boys are
taught that they are supposed to go out and get dirty, it’s okay to be rough
with one another, and if they get hurt they can’t complain they have to suck it
up. As far as personality traits, boys are supposed to be strong, carefree,
confident, and display no emotion. Girls on the other hand are held to
standards that are the complete opposite. Girls should never get dirty, play
with their dolls and have tea parties; they should always be polite and look
their best. People expect girls to be emotional, needy, reserved, and
subservient.
These concepts are even
engrained into the minds of young children by their beloved toy companies.
As you can see these advertisements
reinforce the gender stereotypes our society holds. The playhouse commercial
shows the little girls being “typical housewives”; Doing laundry, doing dishes,
taking care of a baby, and baking. Of course the little girls have huge smiles
on their faces while doing so. Everything in the video is pink and purple or
has flowers on it. With our societies views the commercial was obviously geared
towards little girls. On the contrary the Handy Manny commercial only features
a little boy playing with the tool set. The narrator is also a man, which is
not surprising. The young boy is shown building things and using tools. He then
yells out with excitement of his manly accomplishments. However, these toy
advertisements are not the only thing pushing children to one side or the
other.
Clothing is another tool that our
society uses to pressure children onto one side of the wall.
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| This photo is a mash-up comprised from aliexpress and select2gether |
The articles of clothing above are
prime examples of “typical” boy and girl clothing. When I did Google searches
of “little girl shirts” and “little boy shirts” these were the results I found.
The girl’s shirts made of bright colored fabric like pink with sparkly designs
all over them. The boy’s made with colors such as blue and green with pictures
of dinosaurs and trucks on them. This is yet another way of forcing the
categorization of gender.
Peggy Orenstein did a phenomenal
job showing the transition from the historical idea of gender to the contemporary
idea. After explaining how pink has switched from a masculine color to a feminine one, and blue from feminine to masculine, she plays a trick on the reader. Orenstein includes a picture of what appears to be a cute young girl with long hair, a dress, and tights. However, she then reveals to the reader that the picture is actually of the second United States Presidnt, Franklin Delanore Roosevelt. I'm sure that the majority of Oberstein's audience were shocked by both of these facts.
This just goes to show that our society is being
too accepting of stereotypes. We don't know when a role reversal like this could happen again. Who knows what people will think another 30 years
from now when they look back at our ignorance.
Throughout
history, our country has worked towards equality between men and women. If the
two gender groups didn’t exist, “Lorber (1996) poignantly asked; "Why, if we
wish to treat women and men as equals, there needs to he two sex categories at
all"”(Burdge, 246), we wouldn’t have this problem. Society
must accept gender as a spectrum not a discrete system. We have to allow
children to choose an in between, not one side or the other. One must be
considerate of the child’s true “self”. I am not claiming that we should push
the color pink onto a boy or force girls to play in the dirt. However, we
should stay neutral and let them choose their own toys, clothes, etc.
We must recognize the amount of freedom that we would be teaching our children. Showing them that they have the right to make any choice that they want would be a huge step towards neutrality. Being gender neutral now will teach them to be open and accepting when they become adults, not to mention allow them to feel more accepted, unrestricted, and less judged.These advantages alone, are enough to prove that gender neutrality would benefit our society. As a whole, America needs to work towards creating more gender-neutral items. The ultimate goal would be to have everything offered in a gender-neutral form so that all children will be pleased. There is an entire campaign dedicated to this cause entitled “PinkStinks”. An excerpt from their blog states:
We must recognize the amount of freedom that we would be teaching our children. Showing them that they have the right to make any choice that they want would be a huge step towards neutrality. Being gender neutral now will teach them to be open and accepting when they become adults, not to mention allow them to feel more accepted, unrestricted, and less judged.These advantages alone, are enough to prove that gender neutrality would benefit our society. As a whole, America needs to work towards creating more gender-neutral items. The ultimate goal would be to have everything offered in a gender-neutral form so that all children will be pleased. There is an entire campaign dedicated to this cause entitled “PinkStinks”. An excerpt from their blog states:
“…offsetting gender-segregation by endorsing Barbie values for boys is missing the point – excruciatingly so. Allowing damaging notions of femininity to infiltrate girls’ lives is perhaps understandable in the shadow of mass corporate endorsement and centuries of patriarchy, but pinkifying boys does not equal equality.” –What about boys?
The biggest reason people oppose gender neutrality is that
they don’t know the facts. Most people form their own opinions and that’s the
end of it. Once a society, as a whole,
makes an assumption that’s what they stick with whether there are statistics or
research to support it, or not. These false assumptions need to be brought to attention:
MYTH: We want to destroy gender as a whole.
TRUTH: We just need to create a gender-neutral zone. Like I
have stated, gender is a spectrum. By forming this zone we will allow children
to have freedom and relieve them from some gender-based pressures.
MYTH: Children will never learn about gender.
TRUTH: Gender neutralization isn’t about keeping kids from
learning about gender, that is impossible. Gender is everywhere; we can’t
shelter every child from it. However, refraining from directly teaching your
child about gender will allow them the freedom of creating their own opinions.
MYTH: You will make your child feel uncomfortable or
confused.
TRUTH: There is absolutely no evidence that states that
children raised in gender-neutral homes feel uncomfortable. But, we need to
think about transgender and gender nonconforming children. With the strict, two
sided, gender system our society has a percentage of
children are made to feel uncomfortable and confused by their feelings.
MYTH: Gender-neutral parenting means no Tonka Trucks and no
Barbies.
TRUTH: Gender-neutral parenting promotes giving the child a
choice. The child should be offered the choice between the toys, not just one.
Taking it one step further, would be having toys that are not geared more
towards one gender over another.
MYTH: You’ve failed if your little girl still wants to wear
pink.
TRUTH: It’s fine for a little girl to wear pink; it is also
okay for a little boy to wear pink. It’s all about the choice. If you give your
child the choice and they choose the “stereotypical” gender things, then so be
it.
MYTH: This is a social experiment.
TRUTH: This is not an experiment, it the option of freedom
and choice. Every parent shapes their parenting style based on their own
beliefs and opinions. We have to make decisions like whether to paddle or not,
religion choices, and teaching our child manors. So what is the difference
between making these choices about parenting styles and the choice to be gender
neutral? Nothing.
There are currently two key instances in the news of parents whom are fighting these myths and promoting their child’s right to a choice. Both of which are being highly judged by society. Firstly,
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s daughter, Shiloh has been all over the cover of
several magazines, each of which has focused on her gender-bending style. Shiloh
likes to sport short haircuts and “boyish” attire, which is obviously highly
controversial, and a news worthy topic for the media. However, when Brad was
confronted with the issue his response was “"I want [my kids] to explore
that innocence as long as possible and find out what's really interesting to
them," he confides. "I just don't want to encumber them in any
way."” This attitude is what our society needs to strive
towards. It would help promote gender neutrality. Secondly, and possibly the
most controversial story is about a “genderless” baby named Storm.
Glenn Stanton brings up the point
that science says there is a male and female brain. Science does say this, but
what he fails to mention is that science also says that there is little
difference between the two. Neuroscientist, Lise Eliot claims that while there
may be differences in activity levels, self-control, and performance in
reading, writing, and math, the difference is much smaller than most people
think. She also states that these small variances between the sexes affect
physical maturity more than physical development. (Eliot) Therefore, the issue of the science of the brain has little significance
when it comes to gender.
Thus far I have discussed
gender-bending children and the reaction of our society. Transgender children
are included within that gender-bending category. This means these children do not fit
neatly into our cookie-cutter gender system. The following video depicts eight
families that have/are raising transgender children. I hope that it is an eye
opening video that enables people to have an open mind towards non-conforming
children:
I couldn’t imagine being a young
transgender child in such a cruel society. Due to the harsh consequences, many
transgender children feel that they cannot express themselves or reveal that
they are transgender.(Burdge) This is completely unacceptable and
our society should be embarrassed that we are oppressing young children.
Fortunately, there have been a few
small steps made towards gender neutralizing linguistics. Many people have
worked towards creating gender-neutral pronouns. These additions to our
language are greatly needed; especially in instances where we do not know the
sex of the object or simply want to omit the information. Here are some examples of the efforts made
thus far in the United States:
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| Image from Gender Neutral Pronoun Blog |
Sweden recently adopted a new
pronoun, “Hen” which supplies the Swedes with an option that does not denote a
specific gender. Sadly, there has not been as much success with the adoption of
new pronouns in the United States.
Creating a
gender neutral option for children in our society needs to be a larger concern
for our society. It’s clear that the current toy advertisements, clothing,
marketing styles, etc. are unacceptable. We have to accept that children do not
have to fit into one of two categories. Gender is not a binary. While we are
staring to recognize this problem and take baby steps to improve it, it is not
enough. We must demolish that wall and construct a gender-neutral zone that
carries throughout our culture.
Notes:
A portion of the format of this blog was inspired by http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2011/06/10-myths-about-gender-neutral-parenting/
Commercials credited to http://www.tannerhiggin.com/summer11eng1c/2011/07/how-society-reinforces-gender-roles/
Print works cited:
Eliot, L. "The Myth Of PINK & BLUE Brains." Educational Leadership 68.3 (n.d.): 32-36. Social Sciences Citation Index. Web. 10 May 2012.
Notes:
A portion of the format of this blog was inspired by http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2011/06/10-myths-about-gender-neutral-parenting/
Commercials credited to http://www.tannerhiggin.com/summer11eng1c/2011/07/how-society-reinforces-gender-roles/
Print works cited:
Callahan, Rebecca. "Bending Gender, Ending Gender: Theoretical Foundations For Social Work Practice With The Transgender Community." Social Work 54.1 (2009): 88-90. Gender Studies Database. Web. 10 May 2012.
Eliot, L. "The Myth Of PINK & BLUE Brains." Educational Leadership 68.3 (n.d.): 32-36. Social Sciences Citation Index. Web. 10 May 2012.
